


bitter

by misstraffy



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Heartbreak, Hurt, M/M, Pain, Regret, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26913415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misstraffy/pseuds/misstraffy
Summary: “I left a taste in your mouth, can she taste me now? I’m bitter.”
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Comments: 16
Kudos: 56





	bitter

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a piece this long so fast, I swear. It's a tad too long to go into the drabbles, so it's a separate story.

_A/N: This piece is HEAVILY inspired by the song['bitter' by fletcher.](https://youtu.be/aetZC3Hwdkw) The song reminds me of a few painful lawlu fics i've read, so i've decided to add onto the pain. I **highly** recommend listening to it._

* * *

**bitter**

* * *

"What's so funny?" Luffy perks up from behind Zoro and Sanji, the latter doubling over as laughter shakes his figure.

Zoro held back his own with a flimsy hand over his mouth. He wasn't doing a very good job of it, though. "Ah, just a joke."

Luffy smiles warily. "I want to hear it! I could really use a laugh right now."

Zoro and Sanji exchange sympathetic expressions. "Sorry man," the blonde murmurs.

" _No_ ," Luffy says firmly, "dont-"

"No, not for that," Sanji quickly patches, "the joke. It, uh..."

"You wouldn't get it," Zoro remedies, apologetic. "It's from a TV show you haven't seen, and about this guy from a bar we hit up that you weren't at." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, staring at anything that wasn't Luffy. "Sorry."

"Oh," Luffy deflates. He looks between them and nods, trying to swallow down his fomo. "Gotcha."

He stalks away from them, hands deep in his pockets. Sanji tries to reach out for him, but Zoro stops him with a grip on his wrist and a vehement shake of the head.

"What the hell, dude?" Sanji seethes.

Zoro watches his friend walk away, letting the pity he was holding back in the man's presence wash over him in full force. "Leave him be."

"What? Why?"

He slides his eyes to the blonde. "Trust me. Leave him."

* * *

Luffy walked up to the soda machine with a small smile on his lips. If anything, food would help his mood. He's been feeling down for the past few weeks, and hasn't had a single morsel of food from any fast food place. It was uncharacteristic of him to not at least have a burger, so, on Sanji's dime, here he was.

As much as he was thankful that Zoro left him alone to deal with his emotions, he was just as grateful for a meddling friend such as Sanji to help him get back on his feet. As best as he could, anyway. He was doing a great job of being supportive, but no job could ever really be good enough. And that wasn't Sanji's fault in the slightest.

He pushed the corresponding buttons on the screen so the options popped up, searching for his favorite, coca-cola. Upon looking over the colorful selection of beverages, he realized that the famous logo was actually greyed out. Frowning, he tries pressing on it, but no further notification pops up.

A worker passes by with a sweep of a broom, eyeing him sadly. "Sorry sir, we're all out."

"Of coke?" Luffy asks, bewildered. "But...it's _coke_."

The guy simply shrugs, obviously disinterested in any further explanation. Luffy purses his lips and returns back to the machine. Of course shit like this happens to him. He should've even expected it.

Why is he always left the second choice?

He clicks on the pepsi logo with a little more force than necessary, grumbling all the while. He feels the worker's nervous eyes watching him as he pours the carbonated drink into his cup. Filling it to the brim, he swiftly covers it and sticks in a straw. He snags his bag of food, gives the poor young man a glare, then storms out of the restaurant. He drops it in a trash can right outside the establishment. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach, hunger gone.

* * *

Today was one of those days when he keeps thinking about him.

About his smile, the way he would laugh, the way he would say his name. The way he would touch him, the way he would gasp and moan. It makes something twist in his gut, imagining it all, imagining his skin, imagining his lips, those hands, those eyes. It leaves him broken in an irreparable way, leaves his heart in thousands of millions of pieces, scattered all across the bed he laid on, the bed _he_ made. He exhales softly, tears pricking at the edges of his vision, stomach dropping as crippling sadness takes hold of him once again.

He misses him.

Luffy misses him so fucking much it hurt to breathe. Every inhale and exhale was torture, fire licking his lungs, and _he_ had the lighter. It paralyzed him, the heaviness of the pain made him unable to move, leaving him hopeless and alone in his thoughts of the other. He should really stop reminding himself of what he lost, but the loss was too great. He felt gutted not being able to share his life with him anymore. A part of him died when he left. This was his way of grieving.

A notification sounded from his phone, a text. Unwarranted, ugly, _ugly_ hope reared its head in his empty heart, and he stuck his hand out and around to find the small device. God, he shouldn't be like this, life hanging on to a single text from a man who was dating someone else. But a small part of him wouldn't give up.

That part of him was a heartbroken fool.

He finds his phone easily enough and flicks it on, heart pounding loudly in his ears. All of his hopes come crashing down at the sender's name. It was his mother, reminding him of some errands he had to run before the end of the day. He threw his phone to the side with a strangled noise, cursing himself for his stupidity. He was an idiot, a complete buffoon. Every day, he plays himself with mental torture like this, and he lets himself do it like the suffering masochist he is.

What in the _world_ did he expect?

_Him?_

* * *

_Oh, Saturday sun_

_I met someone_

_Out on the west coast_

_I gotta get back, I can't let this go_

Luffy turns off the radio before the singer could dive into the verses, throat dry, heart palpating. He clutched the wheel to this car tightly, trying not to lose his composure while on the road. It doesn't work, and soon he's crying silent tears, sniffling by himself as waning sunlight shone through the windshield. The song used to be special to him, to them. It reminded him of them, how they met and got together.

It was in Cali, back a couple years. God, everything back then had been a dream, from the way he talked to him so casually at that fateful party, to how easily they became friends, to that hot, delicious night when they realized they could never be just that. And all the memories afterwards. All the fun times, all the happiness they shared, the memories-

Luffy groaned in frustration, long and drawn out until he was screaming in his car. He slowed to a stop at a red light and banged his head on the steering. "Stop thinking about him, Luffy," he whispered, but he knew it would never happen, he could never stop.

Not when everything, every single _damn_ thing in his life, reminded him of the man.

* * *

"This isn't healthy."

Luffy looked up at him from his bottle of alcohol drowsily, hiccuping as he took in the stern look on Zoro's face. A double of his with yellow hair shakes its head. "This is what happens when you leave him alone, Zoro."

Luffy blinks slowly until the figure turns into someone recognizable. "Sanji."

"You reek of alcohol," Zoro crinkles his nose as he comes closer. He eyes the empty bar warily. "How long have you been here?"

Luffy sighs and furrows his brows, thinking, but then something leaks over his eyes and down his cheeks. He scratches at the itch, but it's wet. Sanji inhales shakily from somewhere on his left. Or was it his right? He couldn't tell anymore.

Good.

The numbness that affected his senses should affect his heart too, make it stop hurting so damn much.

"This is too much," the blonde murmurs. "He's a wreck, Zoro. We've gotta get him home."

"I know, I know," Zoro assures, looping an arm around Luffy. "Come on Luffy, let's get you out of here."

"...hours."

"Huh?"

Luffy hiccups again, feet dragging on the floor as he ungracefully tries to move towards the entrance. Sanji comes around to his other side and helps him, but now he relies completely on them, legs useless. "Four hours."

"That's how long you've been here?" Sanji marvels.

"Yes," Luffy slurs, leaning heavily to Zoro's side before throwing up in the direction of Sanji. The blonde jumps back with the reflexes of a cat, just missing the mess. He scowls, glaring vehemently at Luffy on instinct before softening the expression. A bartender comes rushing towards them, asking if everyone was alright.

Sanji nods. "Yes, our friend here just..." he gestures to the floor, to which the bartender jumps slightly at the mess.

"Right, I'll have someone come and clean that up right away." She turns to the trio apologetically. "I'm so sorry. You all can go on your way- no need to stay."

"Don't apologize, miss," Sanji croons with a light bow. "Not a fault of yours, only of our friend here. So sorry about this. You have a great night."

"You too, sir."

The rest of the way to Zoro's car is uneventful- well, as uneventful as practically carrying a drunk Luffy could be. He slips and he twists, and at one point he even collapses, but he makes it to shotgun in one piece, safely secured in with the seatbelt, head against the glass, staring out at the vast sky above.

Zoro buckles in behind the wheel as Sanji settles in the backseat with a grunt. "Was it his fault again? That you're drinking so much?"

"Sanji," Zoro begins cautiously, and the blonde shakes his head.

"No, I'm done tip-toeing around this situation." He shoves his head right between the passengers' and drivers' seat, turning to stare at Luffy. "We can't even say his name, or he start up a fit!"

Luffy says nothing, continuing to look outside the car, anywhere but his friends.

"Well, I don't know about you, Zoro, but it's time for Luffy to move on," Sanji states firmly.

The green haired looks a bit torn. "I understand, and I agree, but-"

"Then why won't you help him?" Sanji pushes angrily. Slamming a hand on the back of Zoro's chair. "Damn it, I don't like seeing our friend like this!"

"Neither do I!" Zoro spits, just as upset. "But I don't want to see him hurt, either."

"Well its too fucking late for that, now is it?"

"I meant _more_ hurt, jackass. Shit like this takes time."

"It's been _months_ , zoro!"

"I know, but-"

"You know..."

Zoro and Sanji both turn to Luffy, whose eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "She probably thinks she's found herself a winner."

"I can't do this," Sanji mutters, moving back to sit in the backseat. "My heart breaks for you, Luffy. I don't know how you do it."

Deftly ignoring him, Luffy continues, whispering to the falling stars up above. "He probably fucks her and cooks for her and kisses her just like he did for me."

Zoro is quiet, pain etched into his features. "Luffy, you're drunk. Don't talk about him."

"But I know he thinks of me," Luffy finalizes, resolve hardening his words. "He's got to. When he left...he was so mad. You guys weren't there, you didn't see what I saw. He was so upset he had to leave me for her, throwing all our shit away, destroying all the evidence. I know he was. He had to be."

Luffy slumps further in his seat, words thick as they tumble out his mouth. "He claimed he found his true love, but anytime he does anything with her, I just _know_ his thoughts drift to me."

Sanji sinks his head in his hands. "I'm gonna go nuts, Zoro. Hit the road so we can have some fresh air."

"Good idea," he murmurs, revving the engine to life. He casts a sly glance over at Luffy, who seems to be deep in thought, but sad. So incredibly sad. "Looks like we'll need it."

"And you know how I know?" Luffy continues to monologue as the green haired pulls out of the parking lot. "Because he's a lying, deceitful piece of shit-"

"That he is," Zoro steels with a deep frown.

"-who'll say something to your face one minute and do something totally different the next. Probably does that with her, too."

Zoro shakes his head. "I still don't get what you see in him."

Luffy sniffles, whispering a broken, " _But_."

"Here we go," Sanji sighs, rolling down the window and sticking a cig between his lips, lighting up.

"He was nice to _me_ ," the raven haired whispers. "You guys wouldn't understand. He was so kind and thoughtful when it really counted-"

"But cheated where it didn't, right?" Sanji cuts, and it shouldn't sting as harshly as it does after so long, but here Luffy was, cringing, body drawn up on itself. "He cheated on that girl with you for years, and now he's back with her."

Zoro doesn't bother to remedy the statement, everything having already been laid out on the table. Luffy waits a beat before continuing, words beginning to even out from a slur. "He was just...exploring the boundaries of his relationship. And found someone better than what he had."

"Someone better that he ended up leaving," Zoro reminded gently. "Don't sugarcoat the truth like he did. He's a cheater."

"...Sugar, huh?" Luffy bit his bottom lip as another fat tear rolled down his face.

Sanji blows a stream out the window to the passing scenery. "God Luffy, don't cry," Sanji murmurs, voice dripping in sincere sympathy, "he doesn't deserve your tears."

Luffy wipes his tears, only for them to be replaced mere moments later. "I bet he's real sweet with her. Just like he was with me."

"Jesus," Sanji huffs out a cloud of gray. Zoro mutters curses under his breath.

"I know he thinks of me when he kisses her, I just know he does," Luffy repeats the phrase like a mantra, preaching to an emotionally exhausted choir. "I left a taste in his mouth. I bet she even tastes me now."

"You keep telling yourself that," Sanji says so quietly Luffy almost doesn't pick it up. He turns then, as if just now realizing he was smoking.

The smell infiltrates his nostrils, pricks him with a deep regret and longing. He licks his lips, furrows his brows as he inhales, lets the thick air scratch his throat and mingle on his tongue.

He swallows down the taste. "...It's bitter."

* * *

It's several weeks later when Luffy sees him again.

They're in a mall, gazing at the clothing in a storefront. The beautiful accessory Jewelry dazzled on his arm, gleaming as bright as her name, but _he_ outshone the sun itself. Luffy found it hard to look at them, and not just because of them being a couple.

It was because of _him_.

He's cleaned up a lot, clean shaven, sideburns and chin hair gone, jewelry gone as well, as ironic as the statement was. No doubt the work of the awful temptress. Luffy loved his facial hair, his earrings, his wild tattoos. They reflected his personality well. But now, all were gone, and the swirls of black ink were expertly hidden under a long sleeved top. He looked like a completely different person. Yet when his golden eyes turn and widen in surprise when he sees him, instant recognition comes hurling back so fast it feels like he was being punched in the gut.

Jewelry sees him as well, and makes a sound of disgust just loud enough for him to hear. "Come on, let's leave."

"No, wait," the man says, stopping her with an assured pat on the forearm. "Lets exchange pleasantries at least. It's been months."

Her expression falls. "Why the hell would I want to do that?"

Law leads her his way, smiling warmly down at her. It makes Luffy's stomach flip. "Don't worry, love. Just a quick hello."

Even the way he spoke was different. Where were the sarcastic comments, the snarky attitude, the cold demeanor that masked a warm heart?

Where did he go?

When he arrives, he turns to Luffy with a tense, close lipped smile. It's the fakest thing Luffy has ever seen. He returns it, lips thinning into a line rather than curling. Jewelry looks suspiciously between them, eyes narrowed, and how _dare_ she, she's had him by _her_ side, not his, for nearly half a year now. And she still has the gall to be suspicious? It either proved Luffy's strange power over their relationship (Why, why, _why?_ They are no longer an item; he shouldn't have any.) or proved Law's inability to earn people's trust after he inevitably breaks it once. Likely the latter.

"How've you been holding up?" he asks, and the question is so innocent, but coming from him, Luffy knows better. He keeps his whirling thoughts to himself and works up a strained smile.

"Fine," he lies, "you?"

"Great," he motions to Jewelry, who scowls at him. "As you can see."

Icicles stab down his spine. Luffy thinks this is a bit too cruel. "Right."

"Ah," he brightens. "I'm a surgeon now."

"A surgeon?" Luffy repeats, baffled at the notion. "What happened to your tat shop?"

He shrugs. "Sold it. I needed money for the move."

Luffy felt his throat dry. "The move?"

" _Yes_ ," Jewelry presses closer until his arm is between her breasts, and Luffy looks at the action with clear disdain written across his face. "We're moving out of state, across the country."

Out of state.

Across the _country_.

Luffy is never going to see him again.

The news clotheslines him, tilts his world, knocks the wind right out of him. The thought of never seeing him again makes nothing but pain seep out of every pore of his, and at this rate, his rampant sadness is gonna kill him. It already haunts him like a plague. He shouldn't feel this way after how much the man has hurt him, broken him, but never seeing him again?

That's infinitely worse.

He's so defeated he can't even bring himself to respond to the news, only stare at them with what he hopes is a blank expression. He hopes the fear, the refusal, the denial, the unrequited love, the terror, the want, the need, the weakness, he hopes it all doesn't show on his face, because it sure does in his heart. It pounds away like he was drowning, which he wasn't, but he _was_ , in information, in the reality of it all, because he may not ever see this man again, the man who took his heart, broke it, then served it back to him, grinning, on a silver platter.

Law.

He may not ever see Trafalgar Law again.

And that's what would kill him, not the water.

He doesn't want to hear anything more on the subject. He couldn't bear it.

"I don't care." It's what his mouth settles with, and the lie burns painfully on his tongue.

"Good," Jewelry nods. "As you should."

"Yes," Law agrees, smile not quite reaching his eyes.

But why, _why?_ He has _everything_.

Law lives in Bonney's bed while living in Luffy's head.

What better deal is there than that?

They walk away then, without a goodbye, and Law's eyes meet his one last time. They linger, oh god, do they linger, but then he's pulled out of it by Jewelry, who leans into his arm lovingly. Luffy watches them go with this awful sense of renewed loss, like he just missed his window of opportunity, but there was nothing he could do. There was no opportunity to be taken, anyway. He walks the opposite way, feeling empty and numb.

Everything was so ridiculous. It shouldn't be possible for one single human to feel this much weight on their shoulders. He chokes on a laugh that ends in a shaky inhale, and he begs himself to not break down in public. It's a plea that falls on deaf ears, and he feels the burn of tears right behind his closed lids.

God damn it all.

Now here he was in public, breaking down over Law for the millionth time.

He wipes at his eyes roughly, lips trembling.

Sanji's smoke from all those nights ago wasn't the only thing that was bitter.

* * *

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